Surprise gratitude

I’m half way through a 21 day meditation series called “breaking the grip of past lovers”. When two friends came to me separately and on different days and told me about this meditation workshop series one of my first thoughts was “I’m not in the grip of past blovers!”…and then I listened to more of what they were experiencing and remained open to it. After the second person told me about it I signed up.

I just finished a meditation which was the first time we focused on an actual person, their energy and the relationship. First, I want to say that the meditations so far have been lovely! I’ve for the first time in this body checked in with my womb space. Felt it, sat in it. Loved it. With today’s meditation I focused on my first romantic, sexual relationship. I sank down into my womb space & saw blue grey bubbles along my sacred bowl, I felt heavy and collapsed in. I spent some time breathing in earth energy all the way up to the universal heavens then allowing that mixed energy to clear, wash my womb space. It felt amazing. I could see and feel energy -this foggy substance leave my energetic body. I had this deep knowing that I was actively doing some “deep work” and choose to let go of the story that deep work is “hard”. Once my womb felt home, I checked into myself & focused on what did I need from that relationship that I did not fully receive. I immediately felt “I needed to be seen”. I did this whole meditation again with another past romantic relationship. My need there was to “be fully supported”. It wasn’t until I was done with these two meditations that I saw it…

I needed to be overlooked by relationship #1 to seek that in relationship #2. In #2 I needed to be unsupported to even realize that need. I now see myself in relation with this magical creature where I am both seen and supported and feeling that strong gratitude that I wouldn’t be where I am right now without those past two relationships. Sometimes we hunmans learn what we want and need by not receiving it…. this realization brought and is still bringing such a sense of gratitude and understanding to me. I feel more whole and complete. The understanding that what I needed was a lack of something and that these souls signed up before this lifetime to work with me around these lessons is…. heartwarming? Yes and that’s not it. Words… sometimes (often) they don’t quite exist.




I am blessed.

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